Porn has taught men some weird and unnecessary habits
By Mpho Motsie-Mabuda
Most men learn about sex through porn and that is due to little or no healthy sex education.
This is the reason why most men make so many mistakes in the bedroom with their female sexual partners.
What men need to understand is that porn is just a fantasy, like movies, it is not real.
Here we look at a few things that men do and think it is fun when it is actually not to some women:
- Sticking a finger in her vagina – probing her vagina like you are checking for her temperature.
Believe me, it does not feel good. Even women who experience orgasms with penetration or G-spot stimulation, you don’t just stick it in, you warm them up first.
Yes, having a penis inside you feels nice and full but, a finger is skinny so there is nothing nice about it.
Worse is when the finger is penetrated early while a woman is still dry. Have you even washed your hands beforehand or even cut your fingernails?
- Going fast and hard too soon – This is not good especially with a first-time partner without firstly having a conversation about it.
Maybe she just likes it nice and slow until she orgasms. Things like butt slapping, pulling of hair/braids, putting your fingers in her mouth while having sex… not all women like this.
Speak about it first. This is again what men think women like because of porn.
- Pretending to enter the wrong whole by mistake – If a woman consents to have vaginal sex with you doesn’t mean she consented to anal sex.
Surprise and anal sex don’t mix. It can be incredibly painful and you can hurt your partner.
In porn, you don’t see it but there is a lot of preparation with lube that happens first off-camera.
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- Surprise ejaculation on her body – Those surprise ejaculation on the face, breast, the stomach can be sexy but not necessarily when it’s by surprise.
We all ask permission before using someone else’s property, so why is it not a norm to ask before you spill your seed all over someone’s body? Discuss it first.
- Switching sexual positions – men like to switch positions a couple of times for no reason.
Doing one position for a minute then changing, then another for a minute then change, why?
Women like consistency when they haven’t reached an orgasm yet. If you find a good angle and she likes it, stick to it. Disturbing her by switching positions while she is about to have an orgasm can be annoying.
Everything you do has to have a reason. Why are you switching? If a certain position is uncomfortable for her then switch.
But don’t just switch because you think it’s what you should do, or what you saw in porn.
So, before you switch, imagine how you would feel if you got disturbed just before you orgasm.
My brothers, this is not to shame but to educate. To be a great lover, ask and listen to her.
To experience pleasure ladies, stop faking, communicate how you like to be touched.
If you can’t speak to your sexual partner about sex, ask yourself why.
