Ladies, here are some things you don’t do during sex
By Mpho Motsie-Mabuda
Last week we spoke about mistakes men make during sex that can turn their lover off. So, it is only fair that this week we mention just a few things that women do that can turn some men off.
It is not very fair though to always put blame on men when things are not explosive in the bedroom.
Women also need to take responsibility. Everyone is different and likes something different.
Here are just a few mistakes women make when it comes to sex:
- Self-conscious about getting naked – He wants to see all of your beautiful self. When in bed men are not thinking about your saggy boobs, cellulite, stretch marks etc. they are turned on by what is about to happen.
Don’t spoil it by voicing your insecurities. He just wants you to lose yourself in the moment because of pleasure.
- Faking orgasms – He wants to know if he is doing it right. Ladies, we need to take ownership of our sexual pleasure.
It will be really hard to experience orgasms with a partner if we don’t tell him how to make us reach that place.
You are also losing so much when you fake. You are not doing anyone any favours.
ALSO READ: How porn has taught men wrong things about sex
- Not being vocal – He wants to hear you are enjoying yourself. Not just total silence.
He doesn’t want it to feel like they are with a person who is no longer breathing. Make some heavy breathing sounds at least. With that said though, don’t focus on that and then rob yourself of being fully present in the moment.
If you are someone who is just silent even if you are really enjoying it, let him know, talk about it.
- Never initiating – We expect men to always be the initiators of sex because that is what society has taught us.
Men will never mind initiating but when you as his woman do it, he thinks it’s a beautiful surprise.
He loves it because he is also human and likes feeling wanted. He wants to know you still find him sexy.
- Always rejecting him – Men need that validation that they can please you sexually. If you keep rejecting him, he eventually feels unwanted and that will break him and he will probably stop initiating because he fears and knows that he will get rejected anyway especially if you belittle him when you do it. This ends up being a sexless marriage or relationship.
- Using teeth during oral sex – Ladies, this is an absolute NO! It’s probably the most painful mistake you can make during a blowjob. Never use teeth no matter how tempting it might be for you.
When we don’t get vocal about what we want or what works for us in a relationship, we are setting ourselves up for failure.
Both of you should be able to talk openly about sex. If you are having sex and can’t talk about it, then you have a problem.
