Masturbation is good for you and your relationship
It some instances masturbation is considered shameful and some go as far as calling it sinful, but it is not
By MPHO MOTSIE-MABUDA
As a human being, woman and sex educator, I recommend self-pleasure (famously known as masturbation) for both men and women. A huge number of people attach shame to masturbation.
From a young age, we are taught that it’s wrong and shameful, especially for women as it was said good girls don’t touch themselves. In many cases people, whether you have been masturbating since childhood or thinking of doing it, some shame is usually felt even after doing it.
Masturbation for men is very good because it can prevent prostate cancer. Our bodies store toxins that need to get out. It’s proven that men who have orgasms a couple of times a week or more are actually getting the stored toxins out of their body with the semen.
Masturbation can help you find out which kind of sex gets you excited
Of cause masturbation is a great way to practice the squeeze technique if you suffer from premature ejaculation. And for women it could help you overcome painful sex and teach you what actually makes your body tick. It can help you find out whether you enjoy clitoral, vaginal or g-spot orgasms, allowing you to teach your partner the best way to pleasure you.
Self-pleasuring doesn’t only help physically but it’s also great for the mind. Now the problem is how do you have an open conversation with your partner about masturbation?
Are you even supposed to masturbate when you have a live-in partner or a spouse? There is this belief that once you fall in love and get married, there is no room for masturbation. This in most relationships is regarded as cheating. This is because you are getting some sort of sexual satisfaction from somewhere other than your partner. Even if its from your own hand.
People need to realise that it is important to keep your individualism even in a relationship/marriage. Masturbation helps with keeping your individual sexuality and relationship with your own body without getting physical with another person.
It’s unfortunate but the reality that you will never find a partner that will always want sex the same time you do. Masturbation can help fill those gaps. And openly talking about it together can increase your intimacy and get you even closer together by being comfortable with your sexuality.
You need to make sure that masturbation brings you closer and not pull you apart. So, it is very important to not lie about when you do it. If you lie about it, then you end up feeling ashamed. This could cause fights and loss of trust because you do it behind your partners back.
Masturbation can also be used as foreplay, masturbate while your partner is watching you. This is a great turn on for them and they could join you after a while. They can also start masturbating and you can both do it while watching each other.
So chat, play with yourself and have fun together, apart.
