
Fake it till you make it? No, not when it comes to sex
ADVICE
WRITTEN BY: Mpho Motsie-Mabuda
PHOTO: Google
Most of us get excited by the mention of orgasms, but then why do we fake them instead of experiencing them. From my professional experience, unfortunately, a lot of people fake them.
And despite popular beliefs, it is not just women who fake orgasms, men do to. More women fake and it is much easier because of our internal sex organs, with men it is a lot harder to fake ejaculation.
But it can be done and men usually cover it up by saying they had a small orgasm so only a very small amount of sperm was released.
Or, if a condom was used, they quickly take the condom out and dispose of it before their partner can notice the absence of sperm in that condom.
Why do people feel the need to do this?
Below are a few reasons why men and women Fake It:
To make their partner happy – this is not a good thing for either of you. It’s believed that men have fragile egos when it comes to sexual performance so some women fake so their partner can feel good about themselves. Otherwise they might get hurt or angry instead of having an honest discussion about trying new stuff for both partners to experience pleasure.
For the sake of the relationship – especially with long term relationships. To avoid arguments about a sexless marriage.
Both men and women try to avoid being questioned about not “coming” because they don’t want to be accused of not finding their partner sexy enough anymore or being accused of cheating etc.
To end the sex act as soon as possible – both men and women fake an orgasm if they are not enjoying the sex so they can have it end quickly.
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This could be that a person is tired or feeling pain, wanting their partner to be happy. It could be because a soccer match is starting soon. Or stress levels are high and mentally you are just not feeling sexual etc.
Ask yourself…
Solutions Ask yourselves a very simple yet also hard question, why are you having sex? What are you getting out of sex?
Is it to make your partner happy? Or what is expected of you or making my partner orgasm makes me feel better about myself?
These reasons often result in non-pleasurable sexual experiences resulting in people faking orgasms.
So, if you are faking, how do you stop faking?
Identifying why you do it and of course communication and transition with your partner is the best way to stop.
If you can’t communicate the truth with your partner, ask yourself why? Maybe it’s time to have a hard look at your entire relationship. And make some very important changes to fix it.
We are personally responsible for our own pleasure, if you fake orgasms, you lose because things won’t change.
Your partner will always think they are doing things the right way and keep doing them. Instead of faking, be truthful because when your partner does find out, it will hurt them more.
