
Discuss the issue of monogamy early in your relationship to avoid unnecessary heartache
MPHO MOTSIE-MABUDA
Many people cheat while in committed relationships. Each person will have an opinion about reasons for cheating. Some believe everyone can cheat but it depends on the amount of respect you have for yourself and your partner.
Many people who have cheated agree that it is wrong and have different reasons which may vary according to gender.
Monogamy is a beautiful thing for people who believe in the practice, but the truth is that it’s not for everyone. This is where people need to firstly be true to themselves before starting a relationship.
They need to ask themselves if they are for monogamy or not. This would prevent a lot of heartaches and unhappiness in relationships. Honesty and communication go a long way.
Things are slowly changing, people are becoming more open to doing things that work for them in a relationship and not what works for society. People are choosing to have Consensual Non-Monogamy Relationships. This includes Swinging, Polyamory and Open Relationships. Consensual Non-Monogamy is very different to infidelity. When you cheat, one person is being lied to, while in Consensual Non-Monogamy both partners have an agreement, and both have communicated about what will work and not work for them.
Cheating is crossing the boundaries and violating the trust of your partner.
According to my research there are few reasons why people cheat:
Revenge or Anger towards your partner – My partner cheated so I will do the same.
Sexual Incompatibility – One person in the partnership loose their sexual desire or interest in sex.
Falling Out of Love / Boredom – Coupes tend to neglect one another after some time and stop choosing to show each other love. Love is a choice.
Lack of commitment – Sometimes people are forced into committed relationship they were not planning to get into because of outside pressures.
Situational factors – Going out socially with people who cheat. Travelling out of town and getting a chance to cheat thinking your partner will never find out.
Low Self Esteem – Having someone who isn’t your partner boost your confidence when you feel your partner doesn’t see you anymore.
Variety – Wanting variety of sexual partners.
Be honest and truthful. Know what you want so you can be open to your partner. Be kind and compassionate to each other.
Relationship & Sex Coach
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