A great marriage does not just happen, you plan for it
WRITTEN: By Mpho Motsie-Mabuda
PHOTO: Google
Marriage. But first, congratulations on your engagement. You are currently planning one of the most exciting
and sometimes, equally stressful events of your life.
While you are planning for your wedding day whether you will have just a traditional wedding or just a “white” wedding or both, don’t forget to plan for your life after the events as well.
Great marriages don’t just happen by pure luck, you have to plan them. We tend to spend thousands and thousands of Rands on the wedding day/s and forget to also invest in the marriage.
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Marriage coaching or counselling is that investment. But why is this investment so important? It is an important step in your journey to creating a healthy and fulfilling marriage.
Research shows that couples who receive premarital coaching/counselling have a thirty percent lower chance of divorcing than couples who do not receive any form of counselling.
While there is no such thing as a “perfect marriage” this can help you and your partner address issues that married commonly struggle with. You get a third person who only wants the best for both of you and helps you build a solid foundation for your marriage.
They help you have those much need conversations that will iron out your concerns on issues about raising children, religious beliefs, cultural beliefs, how to deal with in-laws, managing finances and many more.
Some topics that are usually discussed are:
– Individual and joint finances
– Expectations and myths in a marriage
– Communication Styles
– Conflict resolutions
– Decision-Making styles
– Gender roles in a marriage
– Parenting
– Sex and Intimacy
No one gets into a marriage planning to get a divorce, everyone starts off with great intentions. But unfortunately life can sometimes throw us some unexpected curve balls.
We must not forget that when we start a life with a partner, both individuals bring in their own different opinions, values and history in to the relationship. These most often than not, don’t match their partner’s.
This is why early intervention is so important because couples receive tools to help them support and understand
each other during their years of marriage.
In conclusion, whether you choose your pastor, priest, coach, counsellor or therapist, make sure
they cover all the topics around everything that makes a great marriage.
Premarital coaching/counselling creates that foundation of that very important thing called communication in a
marriage to ensure a happily ever after.
